Limitless Dragon Newsletter #7
Greetings beautiful soul,
Welcome to my newsletter... a weekly exploration of what's alive for me, what topics I am working through, with tools to navigate the times we are in and overall some food for thought.
Today I want to speak about boundaries - or lack thereof. What a lack of boundaries does to our relationships, our self-esteem and what steps can we take to repair, reconnect and return to love.
Boundaries & self-respect
What makes boundaries important?
Boundaries are an act of self-respect. It’s not about controlling someone else. It’s getting clear about what I want and what I will/won’t tolerate.
Good boundaries build more connection, NOT walls. - (little hint: often more connection with oneself first)
Lack of boundaries creates:
Lack of self trust
Victim mentality
Stuckness
Resentment
What makes them hard?
Boundaries can be challenging for multiple reasons but mostly it is the mindset of:
I don’t actually know what I want.
I don’t see how I can get what I want without changing the other person/ people.
I am afraid my boundaries won’t be respected, so why bother?
I am afraid I am going to lose friends/ relationships if I really stand up for myself (!!!! - this one is where the rubber really meets the road)
The how:
Get crystal clear on what you want/ don’t want!
Set the action you will take when your boundaries get crossed - an action YOU take! NOT (!!!) something the other person needs to do.
Grieve - grieve the fact that you might lose the person from your life. (The price is losing yourself and that’s definitely way too high!)
Stand firm! - people will push, prod and test. You might need a hard boundary first… you will want to make excuses, give an inch… STAND FIRM!
Once trust and safety is established you might negotiate a new, softer boundary but the key is - stay true to what YOU need and give it to your beautiful self.
(eg. I want my time respected - someone is consistently cancelling last minute - I tell them I want 24 hour confirmation or I will not consider this meeting scheduled)
How does this support the life you desire?
Once you know what you want …
you know how to ask for it and what to do to stand your ground…
you trust yourself and respect yourself enough to not budge…
you gain confidence to go after it and create space for what might be more aligned.
Remember: it’s not a punishment or an ultimatum - it’s self-respect and a way to reconnect with self and another in love.
With love & gratitude
Lucie
1:1 booking available
Instagram: @luciedomicone_lifecoach
