Limitless Dragon Newsletter #3
Greetings beautiful soul,
hope the week has been nourishing and you feel ready to step into September.
The number 9 month in the number 9 year.
Things might feel a little shaky right now, moving into eclipse season that promises
changes, shifts and clearing out all patterns and habits...
With some heavier energies the past few weeks, I have been observing my mind, it's looping in overwhelm, confusion, shame, guilt and judgement of both myself and others....
And I am (mostly) ok with that. I have come to learn that these emotions are usually wanting to keep me from feeling something else. So I don't think of emotions as "good" or "bad" - it's only information.
It's an airising in our system....
I read a beautiful take on this by the teacher Adyashanti in his book Emptiness Dancing, where he talks about
the ego as being non-existent. People try to get rid of it, be better than it but ultimately no-one can say what or where it is.
That's because in his experience "ego" is a verb, it's a doing or attempt at undoing which is fundamentally the same thing.
Emotions, feelings, sensations just come and go and if we don't attach the "it's mine" or "it's not mine"
story to it it becomes somewhat irrelevant. The "egoing" of the mind is the constant need to be doing something to be becoming some sort of a better version of ourselves.
So how does judgement come into play here?
- if we judge ourselves as being "too much, not enough, better than, worse than, different than, separate from...."
we start hiding things from others and from ourselves. Banishing these parts because they don't fit into whichever illusion we have created around ourselves..
The wholeness of consciousness wants to experience itself as a wholeness with all the parts. All the parts we
might consider "bad" or "wrong" or "unacceptable" are only asking to be loved.
So why do I love judgement? - Because it shows me what I am avoiding.
A great example of this happened a few years ago. I was sharing a flat with a few other people along with a couple that started dating only recently....
.... and I was judging. A LOT! I for some reason decided that I know what's best for them and that
the way they choose to spend time together is superficial, boring and plain stupid.
It was driving me crazy!
Why don't they do something more fulfilling with their time?
.... so I got curious - what makes this such a trigger for me?
- what am I actually trying not to feel?
the answer?
My own loneliness.
So I sat with my loneliness and I welcomed it and felt it all the way through.
After that I couldn't care less about how the couple spends their time. I was free.
So yes, I love my judgement.... I love that it's such a powerful sign that I am avoiding
what's right in front of me.
As we step into the eclipse portal I invite you to drop the judgment of judgement itself.
To drop the story that you need to be a certain way... better, more spiritual... that something needs to be changed....
let go of the "egoing" and let yourself gently touch the stillness that arises when we don't "do" or strive to "not do"....
I invite you to let go of the cages you've put parts of yourself in.... and welcome what arises in the wholeness of you.
Questions to be with:
What emotions am I least comfortable with?
What judgement do I have about this emotion?
What judgement do I have about myself having this emotion?
If I couldn't feel bad for feeling a certain way, what would it make me?
Let me know how you go...
next week - Nervous System tools for grounding
