Limitless Dragon Newsletter #10
Greetings beautiful soul,
Welcome to my newsletter... a weekly exploration of what's alive for me, what topics I am working through, with tools to navigate the times we are in and overall some food for thought.
People pleasing, empowered “NO” and the power of being seen
Last week I came across a post that really opened my eyes to something I hadn’t realised before. It was about people pleasing being a method of control. This felt radical to me but made so much sense.
They have built their entire identity around controlling the perception you have of them.
Their survival tactique has been to make sure everyone else is happy so that they don’t get criticised (abandoned).
It’s a big difference when someone is doing something because they genuinely care and when they are doing it because they want to keep themselves safe.
Coincidentally, a week ago I had a client who very much fits this people-pleasing category… her entire life she’s been the “good girl”, the happy and cheerful friend, always ready to lend a hand… completely shutting down her own wants and needs.
So we got to work:
We explored some empowered statements and empowered “no”.
We did some breathwork and moved a bunch of energy.
We did some anger release work.
We did some power reclamation.
The result? Her owning her power and walking away knowing that she gets to have her boundaries!
Obviously this is a longer journey I look forward to supporting her on, but the 2 main steps that help with breaking old patterns are:
Experiencing a new narrative not just in your mind but in your entire nervous system - teaching your body that you CAN have what you want. This is gathering evidence that having what you want is available to you.
Being seen in your power by another person. Being witnessed, cheered on and celebrated!!!
Questions for the people-pleaser:
Where are you accommodating others before yourself?
If that behavior changes, what is the identity that you want but don’t dare step into?
How and where can you allow yourself to play that role?
How can you explore the edges of your discomfort?
Action:
Message me 2 things you are celebrating and want to be seen in! I am excited to shine the spotlight on your brilliance.
